It’s Been A Minute Since Someone Called Me A Whore

I overstand that there are people in this world that are deeply disturbed, I also overstand that in this age of social media networking it is almost inevitable that you will have a cyber encounter with a disturbed individual. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last woman to experience sexual harassment online. Since my journey in the digital landscape I have blocked male email accounts; FB accounts and YouTube Users. However this mornings encounter left me shook on a multitude of levels and is one of the reasons I am blogging about it.

Before you read any further I need to issue a *TRIGGER ALERT* and an *Explicit Language* alert for sensitive readers.

Almost 11 weeks ago I posted a selfie of myself as I was getting ready to attend a birthday celebration at the Harlem restaurant. I took that selfie cuz it was one of those rare occasions where I was dressed up. I’m usually dressed in my hip hop gear…hoodies, t’s and caps. I actually couldn’t believe the woman looking back in the mirror was me…she looked beautiful, sexy, confident. So I snapped and posted.

11 weeks later I have some new comments for that selfie that make me wanna throw up. After skimming the comments I clicked on the persons Instagram handle. It took me to a page filled with pornographic images of young white women and girls. I went back to my pic…I went through so many reactions within minutes of reading:

1. I was grossed out
2. I was infuriated and felt violated

And then the language began to set off triggers causing me to actually question whether those comments were warranted because I was dressed up and looking “sexy”… The classic: “maybe I asked for it”…

I had to have a major inner cipher with my consciousness and a major sage smudge so I cud really listen to the truth that my intuition was attempting to lift to my mental. NO YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS SHIT!!!

So I reported this sexual predator. I blocked this sexual predator. And then I responded to the comments:

Here are the comments to my Instagram selfie below:

#meow2U2
I want to cum all over u
A Native whore is a need not a want
Nice Aboriginal pussy

My response:

In light of #MMIW (murdered missing indigenous women I have blocked u and reported u) my physical beauty is not an open invitation for verbally sadistic rape talk. Language such as this is sexual harassment and an act of violence. No matter what the medium this kind of talk is an act of violence against women. And not only are u attempting to degrade my gender but also my ethnicity. You are obviously disturbed and sick and need help.

Will this incident deter me from expressing myself visually online…no. This incident is a reminder that both the physical and cyber worlds I navigate through are rancid with systemic sexism; racism and every other ism u can imagine. I will continue to represent myself with courage; integrity and straight up fierceness. I spent a large part of my adolescences and early adulthood plagued by fear because of perverts like this Instagram dude. I’ve come to far in my personal healing journey to revert back to victim status.

M

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Still I Rize Entry #2: My Body is My Totem

Since my first entry I have been seeking support from local herbalists; naturopaths; a family doctor; nutritionist to explore how to heal my physical state of being. My general physical health on a scale of 1-10 apparently currently sits at about an 8 but is on the decline, despite good eating habits and exercise….so I needed to dig deeper. After a physical and blood work it comes down to the bitter truth I’m getting “older” so my body needs different things in order to maintain optimal health. In my first entry I spoke about “tremors, triggers and traumas”….the physical naggings I have been experiencing lately like joint pain; muscle aches and headaches are tremors or signals that my body is changing and I need to make changes NOW!!! Lol…on the real though…yep gotta do it. I have already stopped excessive drinking and burning irresponsibly and I haven’t drunk coffee in almost 8 years; which will make the next level of lifestyle changes for my physical a little easier according to my support team. So what’s the plan? How is it gonna go down?

Top 5 Steps of the Eastern Direction Detox:

1. 20-40 min of physical activity a day to increase heart rate. I have re- enlisted my Jamaican personal trainer from 2008 days she makes a fitness boot camp look like Primary School Recess. I also need to integrate more daily stretching/yoga.

2. Breathing deeply 2-4 times a day
(4-6-8-10) I will be doing this first thing in the morning at least once in the middle of the day and again before bed. Inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.

3. Regular sleep routine….easier said than done when you are an artist that gigs….the key will be consistency and being relaxed before sleep through specific herbal tea relaxants; aroma therapy; meditation; music. And no back to back late nights…. Body needs time to re-energize.

4. Diet (this is going to be huge…I gotta remove toxins…balance hormones….increase my iron, calcium, zinc, Omega- 3’s, and Melatonin….had to invest in a app to help me define all this new vocab. For this overhaul I need the combination of my herbalist; naturopath; and nutritionist…damn it’s like puberty all over again except twisted… Lol…here is a snap shop of the key dietary needs my body has now:

Kale, Dark Chocolate, Fatty Fish Oils, walnuts, eggs, apples, alfalfa, barley, baker’s yeast, beets, cherries, chickpeas, carrots, celery, cucumbers, dates, fennel, oats, olives and olive oil, papaya, peas, plums, pomegranates, potatoes, beans, rhubarb, rice, tomatoes, wheat and yams. Seeds such as sesame seeds, flaxseed and sunflower seeds. My herbalist wants more: anise seed, parsley, red clover, licorice, thyme, turmeric, verbena, sage and hops, black kosh kosh and tart cherry juice.

5. Heat: I need to start spending my winters in warmer climates as much as possible and in the meantime regular hot baths and visits to the Sauna at my gym.

As I begin the physical healing journey I will be posting updates on my Instagram Mahlikah. My next entry will focus on the emotional healing which will require major trust and commitment…..Ona:kii for now.

M

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“Jails and prisons are d…

“Jails and prisons are designed to break human beings, to convert the population into specimens in a zoo – obedient to our keepers, but dangerous to each other.”
Angela Davis