Nodin Says…April 2012

Nodin is the youngest of my wolf pack…an exurbanite 6 year old who has started droppin’ sum knowledge on the verbal that actually has been school’n me. So I thought I would blog a series of monthly Nodin Says moments for my readers….

I was using goat milk soap in the bath:

Nodin: “if you use goat soap you will smell because goat soap come from goats. If you eat goat cheese or drink goats milk you will smell like goat”

Mom: “Why do babies have to grow up?”
Nodin: “To be like you.”

Carrying a heavy Nodin up the stairs for bed on my back:

Mom: “Oh god help me!”
Nodin: “God is helping you.”

After talking to the wolf pack about how hard I work:

Eldest Son: “Mom work puts food on the table.”

Nodin: “No, work doesn’t do nothing it just makes you tired.”

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Entry #2 EGO TRIPPIN’

The worst love is the one filled with Ego and Selfish ways. You ever part ways with someone because of these very traits? I did. And even after parting ways I still observe the same behaviors. The thing that really gets me is when they attempt to justify….and try to convince you that they are actually showing you love. When you love someone you don’t intentionally hurt them, or make them feel less than they are or put your needs before yours when you know they need the support and empathy in that moment. You ever date someone who actually told you the reason why they cheated on you was because they were “insecure”, and thought you were going to leave them or that you were a cheater?? Messed up huh?? Then they still expect me to believe that I have no idea, “how they feel about me”, like I was the greatest love story ever told….it’s kinda twisted if you ask me.

Anyway I composed some pieces in response to being caught up with someone like this. Honestly, just maintaining a friendship with a guy like this is near impossible, because my spirit just can’t take someone who has no sense of humility and compassion. They think because you’ve flexed or worked with someone for 5 plus years that this behavior is actually unconditional love…naw maan…it’s you not knowing how to show real love and communicate honestly bro. Ladies doesn’t matter how the sex was with this dude or how much he says he still has deep feelings for you…put up the force field.

This is an open letter
To a selfish bastard
This is an open letter
2U
2U
2U
2U

No more AngelHeart
Mo like a blk widow
No more love2give
See the tears on my pillow
Natural born killah
Wolf clan  predator
More sinister than a US senator
Givin’ u a heads up
U abt to catch the vapors
U b hustlin’ da trees
Makin’ paper from leaves
Now u down on ur knees
Prayin’ for a savior
Dere is no mercy in my eyes
No gyration in dese here thighs
Dis is RIP to this relationship
Look at the smirk on my face
I’m not mourning dis

This is an open letter
To a selfish bastard
This is an open letter
2U
2U
2U
2U

This goes out to the boys who cry wolf
And the Shortiez and the heartache
U took
U want me to catch a grenade 4 ya
Already took 2 much pain 4 ya
When u were cheatin’ and lyin’
I still maintain 4 ya
Even took the blame 4 ya
So to my sistren do a round about with a snap and bend
Tell this selfish bastard this shit gotta end
We do right women
deserve a do right man
If u walk a mile in my moccasins
U’d kno to stroke it first
before u stick it in
No more games
Posse up 4 sum real drum talk
Cuz Dis Mi’khawk won’t  b stopped

This is an open letter
To a selfish bastard
This is an open letter
2U
2U
2U
2U

This is an open letter
To a selfish bastard
This is an open letter
2U
2U
2U
2U

No Eulogy juz an Egology

Ego trippin’
Boy u b slippin’
Rippin’ unconditional luv
At the seams
Destructive tunnel vision
Evaporating ur dreams
Can’t see thru da steam
Rizin’
Cuz u been denying
ur own mortality
The 3rd Grandfather
is requesting u consult ur humility
When u speak like an atom
u divide
Like Jedi Skywalker
Manifesting da dark side
Ur a traitor 2 ur humanity
Disguised in flesh
No one has the power to dictate when something is
over or under for me
No one has the power to make me move
from the place where I stand
Only the creator
And since the goddess force
lives in me
I choose when shit ends for me
Are u that absorbed in
ur so called invincibility
dat u believe
I will disintegrate with u gone
Please
Get over urself
Do u think I give a fuck if u write or don’t write lyrical landscapes
about me
Please
Get over urself
Chiefs; Emperors and even Kings
Have extracted excerpts of my
Sequence and shadows long before my physical birth
I am legend
Hold up dat mirror son
Reflect and refract
There is always someone
who gives up
I seen the signs in u like
Da zodiac
A coward who cowers
at the thought of being thought of as insignificant so attempts to blind side
So u are consumed by the imposing tide
They need to b needed
but yet they say they need no one and u should move on
cuz it’s over
This isn’t a battle
So don’t start one
Your Ego stole ur luv
Ur truth is no longer overstandable
I don’t want to converse with Ego
So let go of this Trip
There is soooo much worse shit going on in the world
than ur fight flight impulses
Who tricked u
Created these falses
So u treat ppl who were there
when no one else wuz like shit
Who put up with ur shit
When no one else would
Could
Cuz honestly
Sumtimez u b straight up intolerable
Loyalty; Commitment and the Sacred Trust
Means nothing
To ego
To ego trippers
I’m not juz sum bitch
who juz hollered at u 4 dick
And sick guitar licks
But u be speakin’ to me
like I Rep’d dat shit
I took heat 4U
Riot Squads
Bullets
Cuz I protect what I luv
In da end we alwayz begin again
So I wanna leave this
On my terms
Terms I earned cuz I gave my all
When so many chose to fall
Away from u
They curse ur very being
In the darkest  of corners
And in ur own place holder
They treat u like a foreigner
I will still b there
Until I can’t
Cuz I can

Nodin Says…March 2012

Image Nodin is the youngest of my wolf pack…an exurbanite 6 year old who has started droppin’ sum knowledge on the verbal that actually has been school’n me. So I thought I would blog a series of monthly Nodin Says moments for my readers….

After returning back from the memorial in Kelowna for my grandmother:

Mom: I feel like curling up into a ball and dying.

Nodin: If you curl up into a ball you’ll just curl up into a ball, you won’t die.

I told the wolf pack I was going to take them to see the movie The Lorax and was told their Dad was suppose to take them:

Mom: I’m better looking than your Dad!

Nodin: Of course because you are a woman.